Stupid is as...........Well Yeah

I'm going to start a new campaign.  I am going to attempt to get STUPIDITY declared a disability.  Let's face it.  We all know enough people who would qualify, without the need of certification.  More over, we deal with countless strangers during our day that we just want to slap that Stupid Sign on.  Lets just get it over with and declare them rightfully disabled

 

This would be a legitimate disability.  You would need to be certified by an actual doctor.  Once certified you will receive all the benefits and pity the clinically stupid should receive.  I could  list all of the criteria for certification, but I don't have that much time, and we all know the warning signs.  If you don't,  check with your doctor, you may qualify.  For those that aren't sure, I will share a few candidates I've met in the past week.

1. The guy that parks in the fire lane, directly in front of the NO PARKING sign. I don't care if your friend just ran in the grocery store for a minute, the lot is full of people that went into the store.  They managed to park in the "Parking Spaces"
2. The guy that was behind me that when I slowed down at the intersection, and then stopped for the RED light,  pulled around me and blew through the light. 
3. The guy in my neighborhood that thinks letting his kids ride the lawn tractor, mini bikes, atvs, go carts, etc. up and down the street and thru the neighbor's yard, unsupervised, without helmets, is acceptable parenting.
4. ETC. ETC. ETC.

The Clinically Stupid Placard

Let's talk benefits, shall we.  What does being declared stupid get you.

1. We functional individuals will no longer look upon you with disapproval, shaking our lowered heads.  We will instead smile knowingly and nod in a friendly manner.
2. You will not be required to adhere to acceptable dress codes.  If you want to wear your pants around your kneecaps, go for it.  If you want to wear your hat sideways, we will resist the overwhelming urge to slap it straight.
3. If you are on the high end of the spectrum and can hold down a job, you are clear to take the day off if you confuse 6:00 am with 6:00 pm.
4. You may now say whatever pops into your stupid little mind.  We'll just chuckle and move on with our day.
5. We will open special parking lots for you. 
6. We will give you a special line in all stores. 
7. If you need it, a smart person will be assigned to you as your Brainy Buddy.
8. The list goes on............

I know what your thinking.   Hey I want some of those benefits!  Who wouldn't.  I'm not saying the intelligent don't deserve some perks.  So in trade, all Smarties, will get a Stupid Stipend.  This will allow them to be compensated for having to put up with all of the stupidity.  Your allotted amount will be based on the number of verified CS cases you deal with each day.  

It's time.  Let's make it happen. 

*Assoholics do not qualify for the Stupid Disability Benefits